REMEMBERING JOAN ABSE


Paul Gogarty

Welcome.

We're gathered today to celebrate the life of Joan Abse. For those I haven't met before I am Joan and Dannie's son-in-law and have the honour of introducing our speakers this afternoon. But first I would like to say a few words about Joan myself. Several others will be talking about Joan's literary and artistic achievements - her great works - but I would like to speak instead about her greatest work of all, her Christmas pud - quite possibly the greatest gift anyone could bequeath to the world.

I am only half joking here for it is Joan's art of living that I most wish to commemorate. As my wife Susanna, Joan's second daughter, reminded me just the other day, Joan is still present in so many ways. Her legacy is in the food we cook - Grandma's green soup and still the family favourite - beef brisket; in the generosity of care that her children Susannna, Keren and David have inherited and taken into their chosen professions and relationships; in our rituals of pulling hair on birthdays with chants of "hen and goose" and even in my own daughter's chosen first tentative steps into a career in art history that was majorly shaped by Joan

Joan poured out a very particular care and love and everyone that met her fell in love with her - fell in love not in the shallow fickle sense of Hollywood, but deeply, passionately and respectfully. When I first took my first shaky steps into the Abse household it was an invitation to lunch at Hodford Road. Coming from a family that discouraged talk at table, it was like I had stumbled into the UN with everyone oppositional and a major heated debate in full throttle. I felt like taking my shoe off and banging it on the table like Kruschev. But this was just a normal lunch, passionate, opinionated, committed. The Abse family cares passionately about ideas, literature, art, people, ethics; and the Rayburn stove at its very heart was Joan. Her own wonderful book on Ruskin she subtitled The Passionate Moralist. It is a fitting epitaph for the way she lived her life.

Joan was passionate about her family and her relations and responsibilities to the world and her greatest achievement is that the legacy of those relationships lives on inside us. It's just a terrible shame that she is not here today to see how much she meant to her children - among whom I presumptuously number myself - and to the children of her children, as well as all her friends.

 

 
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